"Figuratively descriptive" or "descriptively figurative"?

HYPOTHETICAL INTELLIGENCE

You can teach a hen to answer the

telephone, but you can't fake an egg

or catch a pocket on your tongue and

wait until it rains to wash your hair.

I would still go to sleep if I

shrank to the size of a pea: that's

what screwdrivers do. I mean, who wants to eat

spaghetti off an ax or carry foxes

in quart baskets until their arms melt into unfamiliar mushrooms?

Irony is breathing miasma to tolerate balloons. Go back to

dragging your snowflakes like a tail across my teeth. This

exercise has answered that very same question.